How To Date Your Spouse | Make Every Night A Date Night At Home {FREE Printables} • Clarissa R. West

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Every marriage grows and changes over time – hopefully for the better. But, often things get BAD before they start getting better.

Does this sound familiar?

The honeymoon phase ends, real life happens. Both husband and wife have responsibilities at home and/or at work, financial issues take over, children are born and require 24/7 care, stress builds.

Things get really hard and you realize you and your husband are just roommates living in the same house, passing the baby back and forth, while finding ways to cope with your reality. You both zone out during moments of quiet time and barely even look at each other anymore.

I have been there, believe me!

{Download this practical printable pack to encourage and remind you what true love looks like}

The reality is that we can not force or push our husbands to grow or change, but we can change and express our desire for healthy changes in our relationship. First things first, pray for your marriage, your husband, and for yourself to become the wife he needs!

It took many years for us to come to the point of both of us making an effort to put our marriage and each other first. Our family life is kind of unique because of our children’s severe medical & special needs that have forced us to become a strong parenting team and also to stay at home together more often than not.

However, I think all marriages can learn from our trials and experiences (it goes without saying that we are not perfect and neither have we “arrived” at the perfect marriage — but things are really great / so much better than several years ago). I know it is worth sharing my ideas with you all because the most important earthly relationship deserves to be front & center in your life.

Our marriages/spouses should come FIRST and by that, I mean that time should be carved out every single day for each other. It is not enough to schedule a date night once a week or month.

She openeth her mouth with wisdom; and in her tongue is the law of kindness. She looketh well to the ways of her household, and eateth not the bread of idleness. Her children arise up, and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praiseth her.

Encouragement For The Christian Wife

Let Me Be a Woman Passion and Purity: Learning to Bring Your Love Life Under Christ’s Control Keep a Quiet Heart Discipline: The Glad Surrender The Path of Loneliness: Finding Your Way Through the Wilderness to God The Shaping of a Christian Family: How My Parents Nurtured My Faith

Date Your Spouse & Make Every Night A Date Night At Home

Don’t fall for the same lie parents often fall for when it comes to their relationship with their children: quality time matters more than the quantity of time. Not true.

Yes, job responsibilities do cut into time spent together, and life happens. I totally understand that.

I just know that our marriage has improved 200% since I have changed my mindset about dates. Over time, my husband’s mindset has shifted, too.

So, how do you date your spouse – every single day? Here is How:

Stop thinking of dates with your spouse as something with a lot of details.
Stop expecting your husband to plan something “special”.
Stop planning outings and events that never live up to your romantic expectations.
Stop fantasizing about the perfect date night.
Stop being disappointed in your husband’s efforts, or lack thereof.
Stop taking every moment with your husband for granted.
Do remember how you prepared yourself and responded to your man while you were “dating”, before marriage, and strive to rekindle those feelings within your heart and attitude!
Do think of every encounter with your husband as a “date”.
Do greet him with a smile and a kiss as though it is the start of a beautiful “date”. (when you wake up, when he comes home, etc.)
Do find a few minutes to ask him how he is doing and listen to his answer.
Do touch him every chance you get (rub his shoulders, hold his hand, run your fingers through his hair as you walk by him).
Do carve out time to be focused on him every day/night, no matter how brief or casual (cuddle on the couch for a few minutes, visit him while he works in the garage, go to bed at the same time as him and visit before falling asleep, etc.).
Do connect in small and big ways, whether it is through love notes, cooking his favorite food, completing a task for him, etc.
Do learn about, show interest in, and choose to care about his interests!
Do appreciate his efforts to connect with you, no matter how small or seemingly insignificant.

Who can find a virtuous woman? for her price is far above rubies. The heart of her husband doth safely trust in her, so that he shall have no need of spoil. She will do him good and not evil all the days of her life.

**Check out 50 Date Ideas From Frugal To Fancy {Free Printable}**

Practical Ways To Date Your Spouse Every Day

We now put our kids to bed by 8pm every single night and have claimed every single night as our “date night” at home. We guard this time together and make it a top priority.

We’ve grown closer since implementing this habit and look forward to our “date” every single night. It rarely consists of anything that’d typically be considered a “date” – we keep it simple.

Sitting on the couch and talking.
Watching YouTube clips together (the news, funny videoes, etc.).
Sitting by him, massaging his neck, while he watches his favorite show/video (my husband often watches a tutorial or informational video that I honestly have no interest in, but I DO have an interest in being near him and touching him and connecting to him.)
Working side by side online, each doing our own thing but available to interact or discuss business at any given moment.
Sitting at the table enjoying our favorite snack together (connecting over food is so comforting).
Cooking dinner together and then eating together (we plan for 1 dinner date at home per week).
Watching a movie together.
Working out in the garage together (I walk and he lifts weights).
Reading to each other or to ourselves side by side (not hesitating to share a tidbit that we just read).
Visiting in bed til we fall asleep.

The point overall has been that we have learned to put each other first. Our kids know that 8pm starts our “date”, we reserve 1-hour for it, and that they shouldn’t interrupt it unless there is an urgent need.

Our house is small, so we are always close to our children and they are in their rooms with their doors open. We let them read/look at books or play quietly.

Now that our oldest is almost 13, he sometimes “babysits” our youngest for that 1-hour if he doesn’t settle down nicely to give us our date time. This is a great lesson in life-skills for him!

I think it is good for children to know that their parents love each other and believe that their marriage is important. We are not leaving the kids to go out on a date, instead, we are choosing to spend quality (and quantity) time together every day, at home, within real-life circumstances.

Charity suffereth long, and is kind; charity envieth not; charity vaunteth not itself, is not puffed up, Doth not behave itself unseemly, seeketh not her own, is not easily provoked, thinketh no evil; Rejoiceth not in iniquity, but rejoiceth in the truth; Beareth all things, believeth all things, hopeth all things, endureth all things.

I am not against getting a babysitter and going out on a date, we try to do this once a month when we go grocery shopping, but our marriage should not be pushed aside until we can get a babysitter in the midst of our busy lives. Connecting with our husbands just once a week is simply not acceptable!

I understand that it’s a two-way street, but put in the effort first by making every moment with your husband count as a “date” – with meaningful, heartfelt, and positive interaction! Build up your husband and he will look forward to all of the moments with you!

Favour is deceitful, and beauty is vain: but a woman that feareth the Lord, she shall be praised.

When we had several children aged newborn-9, we would often put all of the kids in pajamas and go for an evening ride. We would turn some child-friendly music on (and turn it to be louder in the back of the van), and drive around for our “date”. Holding hands, visiting, and just enjoying each other’s presence while the kids were contained and distracted.

It will take some creativity, but if you are intentional about it, you can date your spouse every day!