Marriage | Our Story (how I married at 17 & survived)

We have been married since 2002. I was just 17 and he was 23.

Marriage – Our Story

To be honest, we’ve had a very difficult marriage. I do not regret that I married this man whatsoever, but looking back now I can see how naive we were when we said, “I do”.

We thought marriage would be easy, that we would be the ones that didn’t stop holding hands, that we would always feel like we had felt when dating. We imagined the best like most newlyweds do.

Although we knew we would never divorce each other, we did not live to honor God in our marriage. Marriage was hard for us.

I was selfish & immature. I knew how to care for my home, cook, and clean, but I didn’t know how to submit to my husband as God directs in His Word (even though, I thought I was submitting).

I did not respect him as I should have. He could not trust me with his heart.

So, we grew apart, rather than together.

Marriage Resources For Christian Couples

Created To Be His Help Meet: Discover how God can make your marriage gloriousPreparing To Be a Help MeetCreated to Need a Help Meet: A Marriage Guide For MenLet Me Be a WomanPassion and Purity: Learning to Bring Your Love Life Under Christ’s ControlThe Mark of a Man: Following Christ’s Example of Masculinity

Having children after two years of marriage helped to draw us closer. But, our hearts and souls were not in it together, as one.

When our 2nd child was born and we realized something was not right with her, once again we were “forced” to work together to care for our children. In many ways, she has held us together.

I can see God’s Hand in all of it, how He was gently nudging me to truly listen to Him and His Word. He softened both of our hearts.

He made the way. And our special needs daughter has been a part of that perfect plan, as have all of our children.

A few years ago, I stopped praying that God would change my husband and I started praying that God would change ME; make ME what He wanted me to be, teach ME to be the wife my husband needed, teach me what it meant to submit to my husband in all things, give ME strength to obey God’s word and to “trust in the Lord with all of my heart and lean not on my own understanding…”

And, God answered my prayers. It took a few years, but then I literally woke up one morning believing with all of my heart that I should submit to and reverence my husband, regardless of his actions.

It was a life-changing moment. I started to see my husband in such a different light.

I saw all of the good he does, how strong he is, how caring he is, how much he loves me, how he seeks to know God’s word, how he desires to be closer to Jesus. I started caring more about my husband’s soul than my feelings.

Wow! It’s amazing what a good attitude (and Jesus!) can do for a marriage! The last several years have been the best years of our marriage.

We are becoming One. Our hearts and souls are in communion with one another. And, my husband has changed and is changing, but in ways I never expected or hoped for.

He is becoming the man God wants Him to be! The man God knows I need!

It’s as though, when I got out of the way, God was able to do the work He wanted to do. I needed to trust God.

God never needed me to make my husband something amazing, He needed me to realize that my husband IS something amazing and that God created us for each other.

And as his wife, I am so honored to know that by obeying and respecting him, God’s plan is made perfect. Through Jesus and Joey, I am becoming who God wants me to be!

I’m far from a perfect wife, but the walls of bitterness have come down. “Forgiveness” and “unconditional love” are truly things we have experienced from each other.

It still hasn’t been an easy road. It’s as though the devil is angry that we are obeying God’s Word.

The devil fights even harder to tear us apart. But, God has never left us or forsaken us.

It has all been the work of God! I know that without Him, I would still be that selfish, nagging, bitter, unlovable person I was when we got married years ago.

Thankfully, God and Joey forgive and love me because of what Jesus has done for us all on the cross! I’m so thankful for God’s Word, which clearly shows us the way to live.

The Holy Bible is full of guidance, examples, truths. God speaks specifically to us wives on several occasions.

It may be so obvious to many of you, but for me it was hard to realize, believe, and know that these words were meant for ME, a Wife. I have so much to learn from my Jesus and from my husband and I am so blessed to have both!

Ephesians 5:22-24 & 33
22Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord.
23For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the saviour of the body.
24Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in every thing.
33…and the wife see that she reverence her husband.

1 Peter 3:1-6
1Likewise, ye wives, be in subjection to your own husbands; that, if any obey not the word, they also may without the word be won by the conversation of the wives;
2While they behold your chaste conversation coupled with fear.
3Whose adorning let it not be that outward adorning of plaiting the hair, and of wearing of gold, or of putting on of apparel;
4But let it be the hidden man of the heart, in that which is not corruptible, even the ornament of a meek and quiet spirit, which is in the sight of God of great price.
5For after this manner in the old time the holy women also, who trusted in God, adorned themselves, being in subjection unto their own husbands:
6Even as Sara obeyed Abraham, calling him lord: whose daughters ye are, as long as ye do well, and are not afraid with any amazement.

Titus 2:3-5
3The aged women likewise, that they be in behaviour as becometh holiness, not false accusers, not given to much wine, teachers of good things;
4That they may teach the young women to be sober, to love their husbands, to love their children,
5To be discreet, chaste, keepers at home, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God be not blasphemed. (emphasis mine)

I pray that I will be granted strength, faith, and wisdom to continue to obey God, by obeying my husband. Obedience brings blessings!

Joey & I. 2002.