When facing the death of a loved one it is comparable to the saying… “the darkest hour is before dawn”. Waiting, wondering, and imagining how you will survive without them is hard – this is applicable when you have a loved one living with a terminal illness.
No, I don’t mean to take away from the fact that it is indeed very hard after your loved one dies (unbearably so at times) … but, there is some peace in knowing their battle is over, that they are victorious, that they are at rest. This may be true only when you have watched them in pain and suffering due to illness, but I imagine that once the shock of a sudden death fades away, there is peace to be found after an unexpected death, as well.
Facing Death: The Darkest Hour Before Dawn
I can only speak from my experiences with death. I have lost a grandpa and two grandmothers, as well as my husband’s grandparents … but it was the death of my own mother, my own son, and my own daughter that left me with scars. And I can say that it was the knowledge that they would die and not knowing how I could go on afterward, that was hard.
There are so many stages of grief and I have gone through many over the last several years, but I do not feel qualified or experienced enough to address all of them. Everyone grieves differently and the stages may be in a different order for you than for someone else.
I can not put a level of pain on each stage, it varies. There will always be hard days. But, I do believe that as time goes on, the ability to see the JOY in life becomes more and more possible.
Of course, without God, Jesus, and the Holy Spirit (comforter)… well, I do not believe that healing can take place. It is because of our hope and faith in Him that we feel that deep, comforting peace amidst the heartrending, physically debilitating pain of loss.
“If ye love me, keep my commandments.
And I will pray the Father, and he shall give you another Comforter, that he may abide with you for ever;
Even the Spirit of truth; whom the world cannot receive, because it seeth him not, neither knoweth him: but ye know him; for he dwelleth with you, and shall be in you.” John 14:15-17
“These things have I spoken unto you, being yet present with you.
But the Comforter, which is the Holy Ghost, whom the Father will send in my name, he shall teach you all things, and bring all things to your remembrance, whatsoever I have said unto you.
Peace I leave with you, my peace I give unto you: not as the world giveth, give I unto you. Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid.” John 14:25-27
Joy in the Mourning
I have felt my heart break in two, I have been left breathless with sorrow, I have grieved deeply, I have felt the physical deep ache in my chest that stays for too long, the uncontrollable shaking every night, the vice around the chest … I know how it feels. But, I know how it feels to be lifted up by the One who understands my pain like no other.
I know how …
- it feels to be wrapped in invisible arms and gently soothed to sleep after a restless and tormented night.
- His Word has brought me comfort when my fears are so strong.
- He has been constant and steady in my otherwise up & down life.
- He has given me people who have helped me through the last several years – from my husband & family to virtual strangers.
- He has brought JOY back into my life.
- He has been healing me.
I can only believe that He will continue to do all that and more! And I feel confident in telling you, Oh child of God, He will do the same for you, too!
Then Comes The Morning
It is no longer the darkest hour in my life… and when dawn arrives on my first morning in Heaven, I will be completely healed. Grief will be no more and my faith will be made sight.
Meanwhile, we must cling to God and His promises. He is enough. He is all we need. Just have faith.
“And I heard a great voice out of heaven saying, Behold, the tabernacle of God is with men, and he will dwell with them, and they shall be his people, and God himself shall be with them, and be their God.
And God shall wipe away all tears from their eyes; and there shall be no more death, neither sorrow, nor crying, neither shall there be any more pain: for the former things are passed away.
And he that sat upon the throne said, Behold, I make all things new. And he said unto me, Write: for these words are true and faithful.” Revelations 21:3-5
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Amen!
I think grief is SO very personal. It is different for each of us. Even though we both lost Mom we did not each have the same relationship with her, we did not have the same needs or feel the same loss when she died. It was very personal to where we were at the time and how we have grown, or not grown since. Recently, I've thought how anxiety or grief can be like labor. It can be so very hard, and you do not know when the fear and pain will end, all you can do is turn to Jesus and pray yourself through it. Simply trusting HE will see you through one way or another. One moment, one day, at a time.
Well said. I have never been through the daily struggle of a close loved one dying but have experienced death in a moment of my little one. Walking that valley of death afterward is much the same. And yes, healing comes, joy and renewed life comes. Glory to God!
Thank you for posting the comforting Scriptures!
Yes, there is joy in the morning. He gives joy for ashes.